there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
