Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
