dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
