mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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