We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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