There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
