bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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