it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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