Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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