direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
