i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
