Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
