Porn is love you can see.
it was like eating out sand paper
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
