Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
