we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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