"it" just moved
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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