Screwed.edu
We left an ass print on the piano.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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