There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
