It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
