Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
