6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
