your room smells of hookers.
And success
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
