You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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