my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
