you will always have a special place in my vag
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
