Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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