just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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