I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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