a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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