I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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