I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
