I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
