On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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