Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
