I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
