i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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