please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
