I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
