SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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