OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
