come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
