i permit you to call me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
not ubering you a puppy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
