you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
