You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
