I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
