she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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