I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
