I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize