My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This is not my ceiling
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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