After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
