I need help removing her.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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